Westsidewill - Wild Off The Air

While some may point out that both Dave and R. Kelly are from the Chicagoland area, and both have a penchant for underage girls, the difference is that R. Kelly is most likely going to prison for his dirty deeds. This story has been on the back burner for a long time, as everyone knows. Heck, I remember being a wide-eyed 18-year-old college kid who had never witnessed a grown man pee on a woman before. Of course, this was before the Dutch porn invasion of the early 2000’s.
But to be quite honest, I’m curious as to why it has taken this long for everything to come to fruition. The man videotaped himself having sex with a girl who was 13 at the time, did he not? Let’s look past the fact the he used the girl’s face as a toilet seat, and that she appeared to enjoy it if not at least a little bit. R. Kelly is a sick man, and I think I speak for all level-headed people when I say he should spend some quality time in the pen. I guess if they really wanted to wrap up the court proceedings quickly, they should just set up a sting a la “To Catch a Predator.” The guys that get caught on that show have come up with some doosies as to what they were doing, so what could R. Kelly possibly say to clear his name? Nothing, thats what. So here’s to hoping he goes the route of Tupac and releases his next album from behind bars.

murder was the case that they gave me,

Matt

If you would have asked me a week ago what I thought of Timbaland, I would have said something along the lines of “He seems like an alright guy, and appears to be one of the better producers.” If you were to ask me that same question today, I’d probably say something like “I used to think he was an alright guy and a decent producer, but now I just think he’s a scam artist.”

Why do I have this sudden change of heart you ask? Simple, really. I found out that Timbaland has apparantly been jacking beats from music in other countries and using it for artists in America, then playing it off as “sampling” and not stealing. When pressed for the difference between the two, he put it so elequently, saying “everybody samples from everybody every day” and that one of his victims made it seem like he “went into his house and took it from his computer.” Oh, Mr. Timbaland. Is there really a difference between using computer software to digitally jack someone’s song, stripping it down to the basic instrumental, and playing it off as your own or literally going into someone’s computer and taking the song? Seriously. I’m trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but when I saw the large amount of evidence against him I didn’t have much of a choice to think of him as a shady character. Especially considering a) sampling refers to giving someone else credit for the work you’re using, while Timbaland has claimed full producing credit for all of these songs, and b) no royalties have ever been paid to the people he has jacked these beats from.

I can’t get the video embedding to work, so check this out afterwards and form your own opinion.

Honestly, how blatant is that? And that’s not even the half of it. I would go into more detail, but everything you need to know is here.

Down with Timbaland.

knowledge is power,

Matt

Two rappers who I have no clue who they are, T.I. and Shawty Lo, apparently got into a rap war of words the other day. No big deal right? Wrong. At first, when I was reading about it, I figured it was another one of your old-fashioned rap dust-ups. You know, one guy insults the other guy’s clothes/wife/cars/facial features/birth defects/illegitimate children, then the other guy comes back and makes fun of his mom. Something like that, at least. But these two guys really took off the gloves and hit each other with some barbs. Allow me to show you what I’m talking about.
T.I. had a radio interview in Atlanta a little while back,and had some unkind things to say about this Shawty Lo guy. “It’s like a dog barking and howling at the moon,” T.I. told radio station 92Q Jamz. “That dog don’t even know why he’s barking and howling at the moon. The moon don’t care. The moon is so far away. The dog can’t touch the moon. The dog can’t shut the moon off. He just sits there. Eventually, the dog will get tired of barking, and he, too, has to admire the moon as it shines. Just let the moon shine, dog.”
Ouch. So with that one out on the table, you had to figure Lo would come back with a stiff uppercut right? Oh yes, here’s what he said: “He ain’t no moon. I feel like he ain’t no Jay-Z or nobody like that. He’s the clouds, but I ride through clouds every day. He gotta meet me eye to eye. I can’t beat him at arguing. He’s like a girl. A girl will win an argument every time.”
Touche. So let me see if I got this right. Shawty Lo first compares him to a cloud? But only because he can ride through clouds? Then he compares him to a girl because he can win an argument? I gotta tell you, I’m not really connecting the dots on this one. Why not just compare him to a ham and cheese sandwich because he’s the product of a cow and a pig? Or how about comparing him to an anthill because you can step on him and mess him up real good? Actually, I think comparing him to a cloud was as good a comparison as he could have come up with. Good to know rap is right where it should be.

Cloud-ridin’,

Matt

Renowned rap mogul and steroid abuser, 50 Cent, was performing in Africa last week when a rebellious kid ran onstage and snatched his chain. And here I thought chain-snatching was just one of those things that was only talked about and never actually happened. Shows what I know about rap. Anyways, according to reports, and a nauseating youtube video, 50 jumped into the crowd and attempted to pummel that little rascal. However, the perpetrator raced through the crowd and got away with it. Or did he???
Apparently, Bruno Carvalho’s parents turned him in for stealing the chain. Poor Bruno, I guess he figured with a name like that the only way people would respect him is if he had a million-dollar chain that didn’t even belong to him. I guess it’s better to be known as “the guy who stole 50 Cent’s chain” as opposed to just “Bruno.” He is now facing criminal charges and will most likely never get a date in his life because his parents are narcs. Call it a lose-lose for good ol’ Bruno.

I run New York,

Matt

Those with fifth-grade reading levels will be happy to know that Miley Cyrus, she of “Hannah Montana” fame, will be writing her very own memoirs. Yeah, I know that published memoirs are usually reserved for former presidents and other people of high rank in the country, but it’s not often that a star of this caliber agrees to write more than a few words at at time. And before people throw up their arms in disbelief that a 15-year-old girl is writing a memoir, let’s give her the benefit of the doubt; I’m sure she has a ton to write about. You know, important things like why you should never wearing a dress over blue jeans, how to properly accessorize, and the pros and cons of lip gloss. Oh yes, America will thank their lucky stars they gave this one the green light. Now everyone will really know what goes on in the head of a girl who would still be in high school (I hear Dave has already reserved the first copy).
In an interview with the Associated Press, Miley Cyrus went on to say “I am so excited to let fans in on how important my relationship with my family is to me,” and that she hopes “to motivate mothers and daughters to build lifetimes of memories together and inspire kids around the world to live their dreams.” Ah yes, if there’s one thing in this world that will motivate better mother-daughter relationships, it’s definitely the chicken scratch that Hannah Montana will put in this book. Heck, why not make her in charge of Homeland Security? Or maybe let her represent the country as an ambassador for the UN? Let’s just pencil her in for the presidency in 2020 while we’re at it. I’m pretty sure you have to be at least 35 to be eligible for the presidency, but I think she can sidestep that red tape, especially if these memoirs change the world like I think they will. See you at the bookstore, Dave.

achy-breakily yours,

Matt

Just when you think you’ve seen it all in the music business, Queens’ native son Nas turns the whole world upside-down when the title of his upcoming album was released. What was the title of said album? Honestly, I can’t say. Seriously, I can’t. But perhaps you can buy some vowels from Pat Sajak and solve this musical puzzle: N*gg*r. Yep, you guessed it. That’s not even the best part, since the title track, “Be a N*gg*r too,” samples the old Dr. Pepper commercial jingle, only he substitutes the word “Pepper” for, well, you know what.
Let me first say that although I dislike rap for the most part, I do like and respect Nas. He’s paid his dues, rapped his battles, and has done whatever an MC needs to do to garner some respect. Personally, I don’t have the slightest problem with this album title. It’s provocative, and in the music industry, being provocative sells records. So in that sense, Nas is pretty smart for getting these types of headlines. I’m not sure how white America, black America, and all those in between will feel about all of the album, but we can’t fault a man for exercising free speech even if his chooses to use words that aren’t politically correct. Besides, it’s not like Eminem made that the title of his new album. Nas is black, and although its a racist slang, I’m pretty sure black people have the right to use it whenever they want.
Anyways, I’m not offended by the album title at all. Maybe I’m in the minority, maybe I’m not. I’m just an independent blogger for an internet radio station.

power to the people,

Matt

In arguably the greatest comeback story in the history of Western civilization, 90’s supergroup/musical Godsends New Kids on the Block have announced that they will reunite after 20 years of failed career moves and bad ideas. I know, it’s hard to believe that anything Donnie, Joey, Danny, Jordan, or Jonathan touched didn’t eventually turn to gold. I guess it’s safe to say that NKOTB is the most clear-cut example of the whole being greater than the sum of the parts, even if those parts happen to be sporting high-top fades and L.A. Gear. Anyways, for old-time’s sake, let’s take a quick peek at what the five members have been up to since we last saw them.

Jonathan Knight

Since the NKOTB breakup, became a real estate developer and faded into obscurity. I would go into more detail, but does anybody really care about “the other Knight?”

Jordan Knight

Tried to make it as a solo artist, but his career spiraled out of control after losing to “Livin’ La Vida Loca” for Best Dance Video in 1999. No shame in that, though. Ricky Martin has ruined a lot of careers with his music, most notably his own.

Danny Wood

After NKOTB, pursued an acting career and actually landed a role in the movie “Thank You, Goodnight,” a story about a group of musicians struggling to make it professionally. Funny how life imitates art sometimes, isn’t it?

Joey McIntyre

Appeared on “Dancing With the Stars,” which really saved his failing music career. It’s really a shame too, I for one thought touring with Britney Spears would give his popularity with 16-year-old girls a much-needed boost. At the very least, there was always a chance they’d mistake him for Justin Timberlake.

Donnie Wahlberg

Hello, you might remember me from such movies as “Saw 2″, “Saw 3″, and “Saw 4.” Oh, you didn’t see any of those? Hm, what about “Dead Silence?” No? Well, I was in “The 6th Sense,” too. Seriously, I was. I was in the background of that one scene with Bruce Willis and that weird kid. Yeah, Bruce said I have “superstar” written all over me. He kept calling me Mark though, it really bugged me.

So there you go, a brief history of NKOTB since their breakup 18 years ago. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I like their chances in this comeback. America loves the underdog, even if the underdogs are old and untalented.

toughing it out,

Matt

So today there was a fight on the set of the newest N.E.R.D. music video. The fight involved two extras, and was probably started over camera time. You can read the story that MTV.com wrote HERE .

But first let that sink in. Two MALE extras got into a fight over camera time. As if being in the N.E.R.D. music video that featured a giant nose was going to launch their acting, music and/or modeling careers. I don’t know about you, but I can’t name any MALE extras in music videos that were able to launch their careers because of the way they stood behind a GIANT NOSE!

Now, this isn’t to say that you can’t launch your career because of what you were able to do in a music video…if you are a HOT CHICK. Let’s be honest, two guys fighting over camera time during a music video shoot makes about as much sense as this:

Yeah, I just wanted to find a way to post this video. We call it a smooth segway in the business!

The Nooge