That should be the real title for the Max Payne movie, but it’s not. Anywhooo, here is why I’m writing about this, it’s probably the only movie of the year that I am actually interested in going to see.
Why? It’s pretty simple really, I love video games, and while I have never played Max Payne I have read the Wikipedia on the game and I have to say the story is one that intrigues me. And let’s just get this out of the way right now Mila Kunis is hot:
Yep, she plays some sort of assassin, that’s awesome.
But back to Max Payne, who is payed by the brother of some NKOTB guy, he is a cop whose family is killed by some druggies. Big mistake. But if you think that this is going to be some random action movie…you may be right I don’t know…but the video game was deeper than that.
That’s why I’m excited to see this movie, it seems that for once there was a game that got it right and actually had some good depth to it (not just blow stuff up and run). Our hero was dead inside because of the death of his family, but if you made him dead inside he’s just going to make you dead all over.
I dig it.
Here is the trailer:
Looks awesome, I’m gonna see it at Midnight next week, I have to…Well I don’t have to, but I think I’m gonna.
Normally clean cut and clean mouthed DMX let an F-Bomb go today in court. Yep, that’s right, DMX said a cuss word. Which is weird because I wouldn’t think he has ever used a potty word in his life, and to find out he did so in a court of law..>GASP!!!
Actually used to care about what they did in regards to music? When they weren’t just about getting attention or “ratings”. Honestly when I heard that Britney Spears was up for Video of the year I thought…OK it’s possible, not probable but possible, but then when I saw ‘Fall Out Boy’ was up for “ROCK” video of the year I puked.
Fall Out Boy is about as much rock as 2ge+her (remember MTV’s make believe boy band?). Fall Out Boy is from IL so in theory I should support them, until they sang “Take Me Out To the Ballgame” like a bunch of jackasses while at Wrigley field. If you aren’t going to take that seriously then don’t do it.
Kind of like the way I don’t take their music seriously, so I don’t listen to it. I’m just saying…MTV should just drop their whole music thing, it isn’t working. They should just do shows like the Hills or whatever it is that they do now.
That’s right folks, literally 12’s of people were out there with signs protesting the use of the word “retard” and other like terms in the movie.
Can I give a quick commentary here? Yes, sometimes people use the word retard when describing someone who is not technically retarded, but are they wrong?
According to Dictionary.com you can use retard like this:
Slang: Disparaging.
a. a mentally retarded person. b. a person who is stupid, obtuse, or ineffective in some way: a hopeless social retard.
So it would appear that there are 2 distinct uses for the slang term of retard. And correct me if I’m wrong here, but in the movie they are not calling people with mental disabilities “Retards” they are calling each other retards. So that would fall under use B, not use A.
Maybe I’m splitting hairs, maybe I’m and awful person for defending the use of the word retard when it is not applied towards someone with a mental handicap. Really, all I want to say is lighten up, it’s not a serious movie with serious social implications!!!! (And of course it’s not ever OK to make fun of someone with a mental handicap)
Or In-Other-To-Steal-The-Headline-Writing-Syle-Of-Matt L.-News
Clay Aiken is a dad.
Let me say that one more time so it can all set in, Clay Aiken and a WOMAN made a kid. Sure there was a turkey baster involved, and goodness knows what else, but the end product was a kid.
Some stats
Name: Parker Foster Aiken
Sex: Male…I’m pretty sure…I didn’t really do a whole lot of research here
Mother: Jaymes Foster (Really!?! Clay Aiken had a kid with someone named Jaymes…yeah that seems about right actually.)
Jaymes Foster produced Clay Aikens last ablum I believe, or one of his albums, and somewhere along the line she decided that if she could pick one sperm donor it would be Clay Aiken.
Yeah nothing like building the All-American Quarterback with science!
You know how I said 8-8-8 is lucky…well maybe I meant on 8-8-8 weird things would happen…
Hot off the presses in our Hollywood news division, which is basically an intern watching TV, we come to find that Anderson Cooper really pissed of the Lohan family with what he said about them during his recent stint hosting “Live with Regis and Kelly”.
Now let’s break this fight down so everyone knows what we are talking about. It goes like this, Anderson Cooper, while hosting on Live, basically said he isn’t a huge fan of what the Lohan family is doing on reality TV and they need to leave their youngest daughter out of it. Their youngest daughter is 14 years old by the way. Anywhooo, he said, in not so many words, that they are dressing that girl up like a whore. At least that’s what I get out of it. I don’t want to put words into his mouth so here is a quote from Andy,
“Then there’s this seemingly nice 14 year-old girl, who looks to be about 60. She allegedly wants to be a singer, and/or actress slash performer of some sort, strip tease person, I don’t know. I say that with love and concern.”
And I think Andy would know a thing or two about having a crazy attention hungry parent or two. His mother was Gloria Vanderbilt (Yeah of the, “We are worth billions and billions” Vanderbilts), and she released a book about all of her celebrity affairs. Nothing says you aren’t an attention hungry person like writing about book about who you slept with.
Back to the rumble, when Anderson made that statement about the Lohan girl, which probably wasn’t that far off of a statement to begin with, the Lohan family started an attack of their own. First of all the mother said something about it being mean and now Anderson has bad karma, then to take the cake Michael Lohan (the father I guess) said something along the lines of Anderson Cooper needing to shut his mouth because his family has more issues than theirs. What is he referring to you ask? Well I’m guessing if it isn’t the book his mother wrote it has to do with the suicide of his older brother, Carter Cooper, in 1988.
Maybe it’s just me, maybe, but does anyone else happen to think that Anderson Cooper was right on with what he said, and that maybe just maybe it isn’t appropriate to refer to someone’s brother committing suicide as a rebuttal to that fact?
Why defend Anderson Cooper you ask? Because he was the host of the greatest TV show I have ever seen, “The Mole”. No not the stupid celebrity Mole, or the Mole that’s on TV now with the guy who used to do local sports in Chicago as the host (Jon “Hi I’m a bad Sportscaster turned bad Host” Kelly), I’m talking about the first and second seasons of The Mole where it was a good show. Where one person out of the group was trying to screw everything up and they had to figure out who it was! The truth is I never could figure out who it was…I’m a failure as a Mole hunter…
The world is ablaze with Shia Labeouf injury news! That’s right folks, actor, hair grease model, and drunken Wal-Mart shopper Shia Labeouf had his hand crushed in his DUI accident.
Most sources seem to agree that Shia Labeouf was not at fault for the accident, he may or may not have been drunk, but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t following the rules of the road…other than that little rule about not being drunk while you drive. Here is the thing, Shia Labeouf crushed his hand when the truck he was driving was flipped. What does this mean for his acting career?
Well if you read all the news stories or blogs out there you would think that he was horribly disfigured and could never act again, that’s not exactly the truth. Shia Labeouf’s puppet acting career is in fact probably over. The days of Shia Labeouf putting socks on his hands and entertaining kids throughout the land had to come to an end sometime, and that time was now. At least that’s what I assume his “Even Stevens” television show was about.
Join me this fine Saturday by pouring out a 40ozer for Shia and his lost puppeteer money!
I came across an article on MTV.com that mentioned how a few scribes had penned a remake of the “Friday the 13th” series. While I’m sure about 90% of you let out a collective groan of displeasure upon reading that, I for one have always enjoyed the C-list horror movie genre. Once in a while, if you take your time with it, you can weave your way through a local Blockbuster or Family Video and come across some gems that you’d never normally think to rent. Two specific titles come to mind: “The Greenskeeper,” which happened to star ex-major league pitcher and resident headcase/racist, John Rocker, and also “The Gingerdead Man,” Dave’s personal favorite which featured the greatest actor of our generation, Gary Busey.
But back to the “Friday the 13th” movies. Sure they may lack the pizazz, and the je -ne-sais-quoi that the “Halloween” series may have. But what “Friday” may lack in strong acting roles and apparent plot lines, it more than makes up for with cheesy one-liners and head-scratching dialog. If you want to fully appreciate these kinds of movies, you have to lower your expectations of them. You can’t rent “The Greenskeeper” and expect to watch John Rocker light up the screen like he’s the next Denzel Washington. But if you go into it thinking you’re going to to watch John Rocker make a fool out of himself, then I think you’ll be just fine.
As is the case with the most recent Hollywood horror remakes, I’m sure the producers will try their damnedest to make this movie into a legitimate box office hit. It may have worked with Rob Zombie’s remake of “Halloween,” but that’s because that series was the first of it’s kind. All I can do is hope that they keep those patches of scraggly hair on Jason Vorhees’ head and let the man do what he does best.
Charlie Sheen, the small-town boy who made good on a promise to sleep with as many women as possible as long as he was still relevant in the world, has apparently been asked by his ex, Denise Richards, to donate his sperm so she can have another child with him. The alleged email is said to have been doctored and not written by Richards herself, but I’m going to run with this story while it still has legs.
The “email” claims that Richards pursues Charlie Sheen’s sperm so that she can have “healthy, beautiful children” like the one they have already had together. Well Denise, I got news for you: I wouldn’t exactly call Charlie Sheen healthy, nor would I consider him to be moderately healthy. In fact, let’s just go ahead and say he’s completely unhealthy. I seem to recall him being in Heidi Fleiss’ infamous black book, so you know ol’ Chuck has been casting his line in the community pond more than a few times. Couple that with him being Hollywood’s version of everyone’s creepy uncle that always seems to hang around younger girls (The “Dave” syndrome, as it is professionally called).
So to do Denise Richards a favor, I’ve come up with a top 3 list of possible sperm donors for her, if she really wants to have a healthy child. What can I say, I like playing the role of diplomat.
1) Michael Jackson — we can all be sure he has never touched another woman, let alone had sex with one. (clean sperm…check). He has supreme musical and dancing talents (good genetics…check). And last but not least, we know he’d have no problem staying home and watching the kid for the first 15 years of its life (good parenting skills…check). The only bad marks he received on my scorecard were from being the creepiest person in the world. Three out of four ain’t bad.
2) John Elway — truth be told, if America was really intent on winning this war, we’d have John Elway impregnate every able-bodied woman from coast to coast. Think about it, we’d have thousands of rocket-armed, blond-haired, blue-eyed soldiers with perfect teeth and abs that looked like they were chiseled out of granite. But that would be playing a pickup basketball game on a 6-foot hoop against a bunch of 3rd graders. War is only fun when it’s fair, apparently.
I found out today that the old 1960’s game show, “Password” is being brought back after 40 years under the new, catchy title “Million Dollar Password.” I, for one, am pretty excited about this revelation because I always thought the older generation of game shows, i.e. “Press Your Luck,” “$100,000 Pyramid,” and the original running of “Family Feud”, were well ahead of their time compared to the majority of game shows running today. Compound that with the fact that Regis Philbin, who really helped put “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” on the map, is slated to hose “Password,” and I think you have a bona fide hit on your hands.
Not much else has been said about the show so far, except that they did manage to get Neil Patrick Harris on for one of the first episodes. And I think I speak for everyone when I say that anything NPH touches bypasses gold and goes straight to platinum. Much like the way everything Dave touches bypasses the working phase and goes straight to being broken.
