Westsidewill – Wild Off The Air

Tune in to the Unsigned Artist Showcase today for some great music…AND Dave, Boomer, and I doing the whole show in AUTOTUNE!!!!!

That’s right folks, Dave, Boomer and I decided to use all of the studio’s resources for our own personal gain…have you ever heard a whole show in auto tune? No? Well tune in and groove to it!!!!

Yeahhhhh son!

I was thinking about what video to pick today, I mean there were a few choices. I could go with a Lady Gaga Video and just be weirded out by how much more she looks like a dude each and every day (I really think shes starting to look like Johnny Depp did as Willy Wonka) but I decided against that.

So yeah…I didn’t do that – I did however decide to break down the video for Jeremiah “I’m a Star”

The Break Down
- :07 Jeremiah points to his watch…seemingly making fun of the watch that has a calculator on it…he’s wrong my friends cool people still rock that Watch…like a certain popular radio DJ…name THE NOOGE!!!
- :22 Wood panel station wagon. That is what pimps drive around my hood…who didn’t know someone with one of those in the early 90’s ?!?!
- :33 FREEZE it at this time and read the nonsense. What they didn’t have the money to at least TRY to make a good fake help wanted ad?!?!?
- :43 …dog with some sort of ear infection. Poor fella.
- :49 …more nonsense in the wanted ad. It’s actually pretty funny how lazy they were. Someone get these guys a word processor stat!!!
- 1:21…I have one of those chains.
- 1:47 I really think they have something with that product – I mean who doesn’t want something to make their chain shine?!?! Bling Now
- 1:57 hahahaha, yeah now that commercial feels real.
- 2:11 Apparently making fun of big Cell Phones…however Zach Morris will forever have everyone beat with the size of his cell phone.
- 2:36 a help wanted ad for playboy mansion oiler. If that’s what I think it is I think we all want that job. The mansion has a TON of doors that squeak. Who cares if “oiler” isn’t a word? I don’t.
- 3:06 – since when did half a hot dog become an unacceptable meal on a date?
- 3:30 a happy ending! He was just dreaming…whew!

Yeah…If you’re like me you’re probably thinking that music video was terrible. I don’t really get what they were shooting for, it could have been funny…but it wasn’t.

“Captain” Lou Albano died yesterday, know for being a wrestler in the WWF/WWE and of course became world famous for being Mario…in the Mario TV Show.

He wasn’t just an actor…no sir, he was also a dancer:

The truth is I STILL do that dance, and it still gets babes. Without Captain Lou teaching me that dance I wouldn’t get HALF the chicks I do.

So…I guess it’s time we say good bye to a legend.

It’s funny, I always thought that I would die before Mario – it’s funny how a life of eating mushrooms to make you grow will catch up with you when you least expect it. So…For today I say everyone just steps back and does “The Mario”.

It’s Monday, so here’s your music video…watch it…then we’ll break it down:

A few notes:

- In the beginning we got some chick looking up at a plane…why? Why not?
- If you freeze it at about :16 you’ll see in the bottom left what looks like a picture of rick ross…why does akon have a pic of rick ross?

- At :43 we see a message on the mirror “Find Me At Pool Party”…We can tell she was not an English major.
- 1:26…make note of this dude who shows up because…
- 1:49…akon and his “friend” hold each other…for longer than “friends” should.
- 1:56…Just doin what 2 straight guys do…hold each other as you jump into the pool…I mean that’s not gay unless they were holding hands or something…
- 2:06…they hold hands and jump into the pool…Is Akon really looking for a “girl” here?
- 2:57…things take a turn for the worse when light robots invade and begin to fire lazers and unsuspecting ravers.
- 3:29…the end. Akon never finds the girl…yet he finds that dude…hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

That’s your video breakdown for Monday! Enjoy it!

Dear ESPN,

It was bound to happen, like MTV before you, you have decided that you don’t just need to report on news, but need to make some headlines yourself.

You want to be cool, I get it.

First you signed up Rick Reilly for his attention whore monthly…er weekly…coloumn. Yeah everyone wants to be cool and edgy, look at how well Keith Olberman has done for himself. Er…by “well” I mean he can’t beat Bill O’Reilly in any ratings. It’s like people are saying…yeah we don’t really care for Bill O’Reilly but we kind of hate Keith Olberman…But warnings be damned you wanted to come out with “The Body Issue”. For the record I used to really like Rick Reilly before he became all preachy and started dissing everyone and everything. I wish he would just go back to writing those stories that make you realize why you love sports, not his “Take that Michael Jordan” crap he wrote. MJ’s an ass…we get it Rick. We think you’re and ass too – so let’s just drop this whole who’s an ass thing!

Anyway…

Maybe I’m old school but I like my sports magazines for 2 reasons, reading about sports…and the girls that show up in ads and in some cases the swimsuit issue. I don’t read my sports magazines for shirtless (or naked) dudes. I thought you knew me ESPN…I mean you hired Erin Andrews and a host of other hot sideline reporters throughout the years. It’s my fault – I should have seen this coming. You did hire Jessie “the Bachelor” Palmer – I just thought you liked him for his football mind…not his football body.

Perhaps you whiffed on who your audience is – but I’m thinking guys like me more than likely buy sports mags for the same reason, and you used to know us. I really have no idea WHY you want to do this, but I can tell you I for one canceled my subscription to ESPN the magazine after hearing about this issue. To be honest it was a long time coming and I really didn’t care for the Mag that much anymore…this was just kind of my push to make the call and do it. There’s nothing you can really say or do to stop me from doing this – ESPN I think our whole relationship is getting kind of played out.

Anyway…here’s the point ESPN – guys don’t buy or subscribe to sports magazines for naked dudes. In fact the vast majority of your subscribers feel fairly uncomfortable about having that magazine on the coffee table and having a young lady come over and flip open to a page of a naked dude. “So this is what you read…?” The odds of you scoring that night go wayyyyy down. Sure you used to get in the way of me scoring, but that was only because you had a great game on – not because your magazine is making babes question what team I’m playing for!

Shoot, can you imagine if Mom came over and saw that? That’s like a million times worse than a playboy and Mom will regret ever yelling at me after having found my secret stash of porn.

ESPN you have always kind of made me uncomfortable with some of your “reporting” that told the story that you wanted me to hear, and when the reporting turned out to be way off OR the predictions/bashings were way off they just ignored it and moved on. I thought that was something that happens with every relationship, but I learned I was wrong.

I don’t get you any more ESPN…mostly because I canceled my subscription to your magazine – and I’ve started to see other networks. Comcast Sportsnet is doing a great job, sure they have that “Monsters in the Morning” show that was basically created by a 3 time felon/dude who declared bankruptcy for financial gain…but we all make SOME bad choices (Remember when you let Steven A Smith have his own show?)

So I guess this is good bye. Sure I’ll still see you around the tube and I’ll stop by and check out a game or 2, but I don’t think we can call ourselves “together” anymore.

The Nooge

If this doesn’t touch you…you don’t have a heart:

It isn’t often that a cause touches us at WestSideWill like this one does – and you know what I’m talking about – I’m talking about Slutty Public Servant Month 2009!

What is Slutty Public Servant month?

Well it’s something we came up here at WestSideWill to show our appreciation to those girls who take the time and effort to dress as slutty public servants on Halloween. That’s right folks, these large…ummm….hearted girls make it so on Halloween we can see chicks dressed like you would see an adult film (Not that I know…Dave told me!) It’s like it all becomes real! We ask, why give these girls just one day when you can give them a full month? It’s our hopes that they feel comfortable enough to dress like a slutty public servant every day of the month!

But that isn’t all they provide, no way, there is so much more.

Slutty Police Officer:

What the slutty cop provides:

-Safety first. Who do you think keeps all those monsters and killer lookin dudes at bay on Halloween? The slutty cop.

Slutty Nurse

What the Slutty Nurse provides:

- Let’s be honest, it’s Halloween, you’re going to be drinking. Who do you think is going to check you out to make sure you don’t have alcohol poisoning? Or what if you hit your head on something, who is going to dedicate their time to keeping you up all night? The Slutty Nurse. Thank you slutty nurses!

Slutty Teacher

What the Slutty Teacher Provides:

- Who do you think makes sure that everyone is partying safely and politely? The slutty teacher. What’s a party if you don’t party within the rules? I’ll tell you what it is…anarchy.

The Slutty Firewoman

What the Slutty Firefighter Provides:

- Well…this is assuming the slutty firefighter doesn’t bring Nick Cannon…The slutty firefighter makes sure that the party doesn’t get over crowded – and if it does? I assume she shuts it down by keeping those extra dudes out and making sure the guy to chick ratio is at least 1:1 if not 1:1.5 or 1:2.

Are there other slutty public servants? Of course! The Slutty construction worker, the slutty maid (which we are going to count…so shut up) and the slutty Cheerleader (whom we are also going to count…if you don’t like it you can go to hell.)

If you know a girl who is going to dress as one of these for Halloween…or has in the past…give her a big thank you! I’m going to do my best to thank every girl who dresses as a SPS individually!

We’ll have more coming this month for the SPS so be ready!