Those with fifth-grade reading levels will be happy to know that Miley Cyrus, she of “Hannah Montana” fame, will be writing her very own memoirs. Yeah, I know that published memoirs are usually reserved for former presidents and other people of high rank in the country, but it’s not often that a star of this caliber agrees to write more than a few words at at time. And before people throw up their arms in disbelief that a 15-year-old girl is writing a memoir, let’s give her the benefit of the doubt; I’m sure she has a ton to write about. You know, important things like why you should never wearing a dress over blue jeans, how to properly accessorize, and the pros and cons of lip gloss. Oh yes, America will thank their lucky stars they gave this one the green light. Now everyone will really know what goes on in the head of a girl who would still be in high school (I hear Dave has already reserved the first copy).
In an interview with the Associated Press, Miley Cyrus went on to say “I am so excited to let fans in on how important my relationship with my family is to me,” and that she hopes “to motivate mothers and daughters to build lifetimes of memories together and inspire kids around the world to live their dreams.” Ah yes, if there’s one thing in this world that will motivate better mother-daughter relationships, it’s definitely the chicken scratch that Hannah Montana will put in this book. Heck, why not make her in charge of Homeland Security? Or maybe let her represent the country as an ambassador for the UN? Let’s just pencil her in for the presidency in 2020 while we’re at it. I’m pretty sure you have to be at least 35 to be eligible for the presidency, but I think she can sidestep that red tape, especially if these memoirs change the world like I think they will. See you at the bookstore, Dave.
achy-breakily yours,
Matt