Westsidewill - Wild Off The Air

Here are some tracks that I’ve added to my iPod this week, enjoy:

I was browsing the MTV website earlier this morning and came across a British guy debating which superhero, Batman or Ironman, is better. He goes through different subject areas — costume, weapons, and backstory — to help come to a decision. Wouldn’t you know it, though, it ended in one of those riot-inciting draws. So for the literally tens of people who are really dying to know who would win in a fight between these two superheroes, this blogs for you.
Here’s the rundown on Batman: he’s a master of psychology and stalking his enemies, much like Dave. We have to discount his cool cars and planes, though, because this is a hypothetical one-on-one fight. And aside from his karate or jujitsu or whatever fighting style Batman is trained in, the only other actual weapons he has are those Batman throwing stars, some smoke bombs, and maybe a rappelling gun. But he is the cagey veteran of the superheroes, relying more on guile and parlor tricks than brawn and overpowering strength. Again, also like Dave.
And here’s what we know about Iron Man: He’s an alcoholic billionaire who decides to build an iron suit to help protect the people he put in danger with his own missiles. So maybe intelligence isn’t his thing. However, let’s look at the facts here: 1) his suit is made of iron, 2) he can fly, 3) he can shoot missiles and pulses from his hands, and 4) his suit is made of freakin’ iron. So all things considered, and unless Batman tries to throw Ironman into an ocean and get his suit to rust, or “oxidize” for the older crowd, I’d have to say there’s little chance of Batman pulling this one off. Yeah, Ironman is older and he has his own custom pacemaker, but in all honesty, you could put a 90-year-old man in that iron suit and I’d pick him. Check that, you could put Dave in that suit and I’d still pick him. And you know what happens when Dave has all that power? Something bad, undoubtedly.

I’m super,

Matt

Today is a big day for the majority of guys, ages 16-30. No, the local Lion’s Den adult superstore is not slashing their prices in an “everything must go!” sale, but rather it marks the release of one of the most anticipated video game releases of their year — Grand Theft Auto IV. Before I hear the collective groan of girls everywhere, frustrated that they have to listen to yet another guy babble on about video games, let me first say that the GTA series has slowly become the most interactive and realistic game on the market.
Established gamers know the history of GTA, starting with the originals on Playstation, then the Vice City, Liberty City, and the San Andreas chapters. Critics argued that the newer versions depicted racism, extreme violence, and so on. But while this may or may not be true, depending on who you ask, the games are no different than any other action movie that has made it to the big screen in the past 20 years. The only difference, the only real difference, is that with GTA you basically sit in the director’s chair and create your own storyline. Think of it as a more updated version of “The Sims,” and with better graphics.
It will inevitably be hard for anyone, especially me, to fork over $60 for a video game. I own an Xbox 360, but have yet to purchase more than two games to play. Eventually, I know I’ll have to give in to temptation on this one. Another one of those “what would Dave do?” situations, really. And we all know Dave is a man of temptation.

keep hustlin’,

Matt

On this past Friday’s radio show, the crew unfurled new about our great American game, known only to us as Goofball. Goofball is a gentlemen’s game, minus the inclusion of Dave. Some have called it the “croquet of the new millennium,” but we just like to think it’s a game you can play outside in the fresh air with a cold Bartles & Jaymes wine cooler in your hand. So in order to give some of you an opportunity to play Goofball with your friends, I’m going to give you a quick rundown of the ins-and-outs of the game.

1) The game is not meant to be played in a big field, or wide-ranging piece of land. Our course spans the front and back yards of one house, with a little time spent across the street. However, any area that is tree-heavy would work just fine.
2) Each “goofer” uses the same football. We have toyed with the idea of each buying different balls for driving, putting, etc., but feel we would be unnecessarily complicating a simple game.
3) Generally, our front 6 (first 6 holes) carry a maximum stroke of 6, since they are the shorter and less difficult holes. The back 6 are a bit harder so they carry a maximum stroke of 8, with the last and most difficult being unlimited.
4) Cars parked around the neighborhood and any part of a house, excluding the roof, are considered hazards and carry a one stroke penalty. Ball is to be played from where it either hits the car, or lands after hitting the house.
5) The idea is to shape a particular hole around obstacles (i.e. trees, cars, fences) so be creative. Have one hole start in the front yard and have to dogleg it around to the back.
6) Since a single tree trunk acts as the pin, give a height limit as to where you can kick it to for it to count as a score. It shouldn’t be any higher than four feet or so, and we usually go with where the trunk may start to break off into large branches.
7) All balls must be punted. You cannot kick the ball straight off the ground, so if it’s stuck in a bush, you have to kick it out of the bush where it’s stuck.
8 ) In case of a tie, the tiebreaker consists of throwing the football into a basketball hoop from 25 feet away. First one to make it, with the chance of a tie from the person who went 2nd, wins

Here’s my team mascot. I can’t think of a good name yet, though. It will come to me

I’m goofy,

Matt

The fabled half man-half vampire known as Wesley Snipes won’t be making anymore “Blade” films anytime soon. Well, unless the films deal with Blade not filing tax returns for three years and how he tries to escape from prison, because that’s exactly where Snipes will be the next three years and that’s exactly the reason why. If I may be frank here, what kind of an idiot doesn’t pay taxes for three years and expects nothing to happen? Probably the same kind of idiot who would think that giving the judge a letter from Woody Harrelson that said how great of a friend you are, would get you off the hook. I’m fairly certain that letter was made out of hemp, by the way. But at least Denzel Washington came to the rescue with his letter: “Wesley is like a tree — a mighty oak.” Yeah, that’s going to do the job. Anytime you compare a man to a tree, especially with Woody Harrelson still lingering in your brain, I’m sure that’s really going to make you feel confident. Honestly, they would have been better off handing the judge a copy of “White Men Can’t Jump.” Or, perhaps the best possible thing he could have done was paid his damn taxes. Have fun in the big house, Wes.

taxed out,

Matt

I was one of the few million people who ended up seeing Will Ferrell in “Semi-Pro.” A lot of people hated it, I thought it was OK, but there was no denying the individual talent of one particular actor in the movie: Dewey the bear. That bear had the heart of a lion, which is something you don’t see everyday. But honestly, the bear seemed pretty well-trained especially for a wild animal. I’d probably put this bear #2, behind Dave, for best training job of a wild animal.
Anyways, a few days ago, that very same bear ended up killing his trainer. Yes, it was a terrible thing to read about, and I’m sorry that the man ended up dying, but why are people talking about killing the bear now? Last time I checked, they had just taken a 700-pound bear out of the wild and were trying to train it not to kill people. Honestly, did they not expect something like this to ever happen? It’s a damn bear for crying out loud. Did people forget that they have been instinctively programmed to kill other living things, and have been doing it for hundreds, if not thousands of years?
I’m pretty sure we’ve come far enough along with computer-generated images that people can start putting fake animals in place of real ones in movies and this sort of thing won’t happen as much. I’m all for rehabilitating wild animals, but let’s stop dressing them up in funny costumes and having them do all sorts of weird things.

Man vs. Wild,

Matt

Those with fifth-grade reading levels will be happy to know that Miley Cyrus, she of “Hannah Montana” fame, will be writing her very own memoirs. Yeah, I know that published memoirs are usually reserved for former presidents and other people of high rank in the country, but it’s not often that a star of this caliber agrees to write more than a few words at at time. And before people throw up their arms in disbelief that a 15-year-old girl is writing a memoir, let’s give her the benefit of the doubt; I’m sure she has a ton to write about. You know, important things like why you should never wearing a dress over blue jeans, how to properly accessorize, and the pros and cons of lip gloss. Oh yes, America will thank their lucky stars they gave this one the green light. Now everyone will really know what goes on in the head of a girl who would still be in high school (I hear Dave has already reserved the first copy).
In an interview with the Associated Press, Miley Cyrus went on to say “I am so excited to let fans in on how important my relationship with my family is to me,” and that she hopes “to motivate mothers and daughters to build lifetimes of memories together and inspire kids around the world to live their dreams.” Ah yes, if there’s one thing in this world that will motivate better mother-daughter relationships, it’s definitely the chicken scratch that Hannah Montana will put in this book. Heck, why not make her in charge of Homeland Security? Or maybe let her represent the country as an ambassador for the UN? Let’s just pencil her in for the presidency in 2020 while we’re at it. I’m pretty sure you have to be at least 35 to be eligible for the presidency, but I think she can sidestep that red tape, especially if these memoirs change the world like I think they will. See you at the bookstore, Dave.

achy-breakily yours,

Matt

Back in my day, “Super Mario 3″ for Nintendo was pretty much the greatest game ever, especially when you consider the jump from the hallucination-themed “Mario Bros. 2″ to Mario now donning frog and flying squirrel costumes. But it was a natural progression, as there was with the following age of video gaming — the “Goldeneye age”. The first-person shooter style was a modern breakthrough, and everyone and their uncle loved it. Well, if you’re uncle played video games, that is.
And now, with the Nintendo Wii, a new theme of video games has been developed thanks to the godfather of video gaming, Mr. Nintendo himself, Shigeru Miyamoto. OK, so the name may not ring a bell, but he created the original Nintendo and everything that came with it, including the Wii. And 20-some-odd years after “Donkey Kong”, he’s come up with a new style of video game for the Nintendo Wii, aptly called “Wii Fit.”
When the Wii first came out, people lauded the idea that kids could play video games and exercise at the same time. That really wasn’t the case, since Americans keep getting fatter each year. However, with “Wii Fit,” the entire purpose of the game is based around strength training, yoga, and other aerobic activities. The game even comes with an exercise board that uses sensors to help determine a players balance as well as recording weight. Pretty neat if you ask me.
If they can get past the likely-annoying Japanese soundtrack, then I’m sure this will be a huge hit in America. Especially for those people that are too lazy to go to the gym and think swinging a Wii nun chuck will solve everything. Who knows, though. That Mr. Miyamoto is pretty sneaky.

Wiiiiiiiiiiiii,

Matthew-san

Just when you think you’ve seen it all in the music business, Queens’ native son Nas turns the whole world upside-down when the title of his upcoming album was released. What was the title of said album? Honestly, I can’t say. Seriously, I can’t. But perhaps you can buy some vowels from Pat Sajak and solve this musical puzzle: N*gg*r. Yep, you guessed it. That’s not even the best part, since the title track, “Be a N*gg*r too,” samples the old Dr. Pepper commercial jingle, only he substitutes the word “Pepper” for, well, you know what.
Let me first say that although I dislike rap for the most part, I do like and respect Nas. He’s paid his dues, rapped his battles, and has done whatever an MC needs to do to garner some respect. Personally, I don’t have the slightest problem with this album title. It’s provocative, and in the music industry, being provocative sells records. So in that sense, Nas is pretty smart for getting these types of headlines. I’m not sure how white America, black America, and all those in between will feel about all of the album, but we can’t fault a man for exercising free speech even if his chooses to use words that aren’t politically correct. Besides, it’s not like Eminem made that the title of his new album. Nas is black, and although its a racist slang, I’m pretty sure black people have the right to use it whenever they want.
Anyways, I’m not offended by the album title at all. Maybe I’m in the minority, maybe I’m not. I’m just an independent blogger for an internet radio station.

power to the people,

Matt

This may be the biggest news in the history of all time. Ok…maybe not the biggest news in the history of all time but a HUGE announcement for all of you long time WestSideWill Radio fans! Take a look at the flyer below:

(It looks as if Boomer has had time to grow a high top fade while he has been away!)

That’s right! It’s the return of WestSideWill’s original "Bad Boy" of radio!!! Tune in TONIGHT at 8 PM Central Time to enjoy it all!!!!